Depression after loss, and returning to life

Six months after the loss there were still days she did not leave the house. She said everything felt meaningless and that nothing she did made a difference. Her sleep was disordered, she had lost her appetite, and her workplace was beginning to drift away from her.

The first four sessions were only listening. Coming for grief does not necessarily mean 'make it better', and rushing at that stage does harm.

After that the work ran along two lines: separating grief from depression — they are different things with different treatments — and then behavioural activation built around small, meaningful actions, including on days when there was no motivation at all.

She returned to work in the fourth month. By the eighth she could talk about the loss with friends, which had not been possible before. The grief had not gone, but it no longer took the whole day and control of her life had come back.