Starting is easy; the third and fifth months are not. About the things that make clients quit half way.

Therapy

Self-care: why the hardest part of therapy is keeping going

Starting is easy; the third and fifth months are not. About the things that make clients quit half way.

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Surveys show that psychological treatments are abandoned earlier than necessary — not because they do not work, but because in the third month the result is not yet visible.

The third month, where everyone quits

In the first weeks you change by yourself: meetings drop, work drops, hope rises. Then, around the third month, you reach the point where the real work begins and you see no immediate improvement — so you start to doubt it.
This is where the therapist's explanation makes the biggest difference: being told clearly which stage you are at and what is coming.

Three things that genuinely help

Expect the dip

Get used to the idea that the end is coming — someone who warned you at week five is not a surprise in month three.

Temporary dip

Recognise the month-three dip; it is not the end of treatment.

Say something

If you are unhappy, say so. Most of the time one phone call resolves it.

What you can try tomorrow

This week, ask your therapist one specific question: 'where are we exactly now, and what is the next sign of progress?' A concrete answer makes the hardest month bearable.
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In short

Therapy usually works at the point where you think it is not working — because change happens before it becomes visible.

«The first time I quit in month two. The second time I realised that sinking feeling in the middle was not failure, it was the middle.»

Niloufar Rostami
Clinical psychologist
Author

Written by Niloufar Rostami

Author

Niloufar Rostami

Topic

Therapy

Reading time

7 min

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Tags

Therapy · Self-care · CBT

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